Choose to love today....

I never knew how much a baby changes your life. Yes everyone Always says that a baby changes everything, but I was envisioning the obvious changes like finances, priorities, time management, your capacity to love, etc. It also changes your marriage. I wasnt prepared for that to change. Becoming parents has made our bond stronger than ever, but it also has become more challenging on our relationship.

This afternoon we were required to take a baptism class at our church & we went into it thinking it would be all about the sacrament of baptism. But it turned out being a little refresher class of marriage prep except with a twist of becoming a new parent thrown in. And it couldn't have come at a better time. Between working late, sleep deprivation, and a baby who steals all of our attention, our relationshhas feels different. But after class today, I'm realizing that we are just in a new season of our marriage & every couple goes through this. Change is inevitable but it's how we deal with change that is important. Pre-baby, JJ & I had all evening to talk, cuddle on the couch & go to bed together. Our bond was strong & we were giving one another all of our love & attention. It was so much easier to show each other our love for one another. Post-baby, one of us might end up soothing everly while the other inhales supper so we can switch places quickly. Before bed I have to do the dishes, wash bottles, pump, feed everly, get middle of night bottles, paci, nipple shield in the bedroom all while JJ is showering & getting some time with everly. We no longer go to sleep in each others arms, but instead he falls asleep while I'm nursing everly in bed. Yes it's more of a struggle to show each other love while our time together is so sparse, but the class today reassured me that this is normal. Every couple has this adjustment period because becoming a parent is the biggest season of change a couple will go through. Greeting him at the door after work is one small gesture that I make sure to do each night. The random hugs he gives me in passing give me so much strength & make everything better. We talked about going on more date nights or making more of an effort to have "us" time every night. As much of a blessing as our daughter is, the biggest impact we will have on her is our strong loving marriage. It will teach her how a man should treat his wife, it will provide her with security, & it will be her first understanding of what love is. I am embracing this season of change with humility (sometimes I need to give up all control & ask for help), compassion (for the people I love but also my hobbies that I need to continue doing to nourish my own self), and an openness to change (thats just a part of life after all). I will leave you with what a couple at class today shared with the group, they learned this phrase at their marriage prep class years ago & still say it to one another when things get tough.......Choose to love today. We don't "fall" in & out of love, we have a choice. Love isn't a feeling, it's an action that we have control over. In the changes that we encounter, we must choose to love today & everyday.